And Now Back to Our Regularly Scheduled Programming

Jeez, how many “I’m Back” posts does this chick need?

I want to tell y’all that I’ve been off vacationing in some exotic far away land, but truth be told I’m still too pale to pull that lie off so here we are.

It’s been a hot minute and I’ll admit, I slacked off in the posting department. But some big things have and are happening, and by big things I mean I really have zero excuse for not posting so I’m going to hyperbolize the past two months or so to make up for that fact.

To start, I did what any other self-proclaimed writer does. I got a real job! Yes ladies and gents, I am no longer a mere victim of post-grad unemployment, and I finally put an end to Googling requirements for welfare (I don’t qualify). I also now have something concrete to tell former classmates and teachers alike when I awkwardly run into them at the grocery store instead of dodgidly trying to duck-and-cover into the frozen food section and pretend that I’m super late for a doctors appointment, we’ll chat soon! Which is good because people were beginning to think that I was either very ill, or their second guess, trying to live under the radar and avoid the law. Well jokes on y’all because neither are completely true!

In all seriousness, working has been good for me. I finally feel some sense of accomplishment that extends beyond the 5.3 of you who regularly read my blog, not that I don’t appreciate you guys because let’s be honest, y’all rock. But I have taken a great liking to being a part of corporate America. Sure I could talk about how well I’m benefiting from structure being provided in my life, or how I’m shaping myself into a successful young professional, but when you’re like me you see the perks in the little things, because sometimes that’s all you have to consider.

For example, I am absolutely bonkers about being able to dress nicely every day. Foregone are the days of Kung Pao Chicken stained shirts and tired skin zapped by hours of writing. I get to wear heels now! Sure, it’s superficial as hell, but have you even experienced life until you click-clack down a hall knowing that the floor beneath you was made to echo your shoes? Talk about a real power trip, because not only am I full of myself when dressed in full-on work mode, I usually stumble at some point during the day. I mean, nothing was stopping me from wearing heels before, but the reality is when you’re primary function is staying at home and cranking out blog posts, heels are both unnecessary and impractical- it’s not like I’m trying to impress the pizza delivery guy (I tried, he still won’t give me free pizza).

The other good thing about full time employment is, I now have money honey! Yes that’s right, I now have regularly scheduled deposits into my bank account that don’t depend on being nice to strangers looking to get drunk (coming: Tales From Behind the Booze Barrier: My Time as a Bartender). There is such satisfaction in knowing that each paycheck doesn’t involve at least one breakdown in an alley sobbing to cooks on smoke breaks. Now, my breakdowns are purely my own doing and not the result of being told “you should smile more”.
And for those of you shaking your head and saying “oh ho ho she’s young, she’ll learn soon enough!” all I have to say is- What was it like to be alive when Jim Morrison was alive? I’m genuinely curious.

In all seriousness, I am enjoying my new bearings in a big-girl job, and I am learning a lot along the way. That being said, writing for people’s entertainment will always bring me the most joy (even if its at my own expense), and I will continue on my journey through this universe in hopes of finding new and unique experiences to share with everyone.